Book Blogging is hard work and I almost quit and deleted the lot.

I decided to post something a little bit different today because I am behind with my reading and to be honest I have no current read books to review.

When I started this blog back in May I initially thought yeah, this will be easy.  I read loads of books anyway so hard how can it be to read a book, review it and then post it? Well, actually very hard. I started putting myself under pressure to read more and more when the reality was I wasn't enjoying the fact that I felt like I had to use every free second just to read a book. It stopped me loving to read and it started to feel more like a chore.  I needed to post a review regulary to keep people reading my blog and gain followers when the reality is I sometimes just don't have the time

I then discovered Netgalley where I could request proof copies and happily clicked away requesting more books than I needed and finding that actually I was requesting books that are not really my thing and then I have to review a book that I don't actually like.

I found myself feeling guilty for not reading enough books and reading books that I don't actually enjoy, just because it's the book that everyone else seems to be reading and so I should read it and love it to.  Truth was I don't even like some of them but I was trudging through them just because I felt I should.

Don't even get me started on the use of twitter.  Book Bloggers that have thousands of followers, blogs that have thousands of followers.  I am barely starting out and have managed to accumulate a grand following on twitter of 100 and followers of my blog zero. I felt like a failure even though I was new to this. I kind of assumed people would see this and like this and start interacting but nope.

Does that mean that my blog is rubbish? Why is no one liking my posts? Why does no one interact with me?   I post and comment and try my hardest to gain page views and receive very little in return.

I've had a good hard think about why I wanted to start this blog in the first place and that was to spread the love for the books I read and enjoy. So why then am I reading books that are not actually my cup of tea? Why am I getting hung up on followers?  That was not the reason I wanted to do this at all.

I took a step back and pondered whether to just delete the lot and forget all about it but there was this little niggle inside me that really doesn't want to do that.  Truth is I still love reading and reviewing, yeah it is more than a little addictive.

I have realised that I need to just be myself. Read the books that I love to read.  Not because I have to but because I want to and then post my little review.  If no one reads it or comments, so what.   Is it the end of the world if I don't have a load of followers? I actually don't want thousands of followers as that would put even more pressure on me.

I have decided that I am continuing because I want to.  I have and will always read and nothing will stop that ever.  I will post reviews when I get the chance and when I have no time than nothing will get posted.  The one thing I am doing is stopping getting fixated on page views.  If no one reads it, that's fine.  I am doing what makes me happy and that was the whole reason I started this blog.

I Will Make You Pay by Teresa Driscoll

Synopsis

Every Wednesday, like clockwork, the terror returns.

It seems like an ordinary Wednesday, until the phone rings. A mysterious caller with a chilling threat. Journalist Alice Henderson hangs up, ready to dismiss it as a hoax against the newspaper. But the next Wednesday, the stalker makes another move—and it becomes clear that this is all about Alice.

Someone wants her to suffer, but for what? Her articles have made her a popular local champion—could it be her past rather than her work that’s put her life in danger? Alice is determined not to give in to fear, but with the police investigation at a dead end, her boyfriend insists on hiring private investigator Matthew Hill.

With every passing Wednesday the warnings escalate, until it’s not only Alice but also her family in the stalker’s sights. As her tormentor closes in, can Alice uncover what she’s being punished for before the terrifying threats become an unthinkable reality?

My Review

This book was dark, creepy, unnerving and very unsettling.  The tension was kept right till the very end and I couldn't tear myself away from it.  We follow the story through Alice's eyes and also flashbacks to a young unknown boy until the threads are tied together in a very satisfying ending.

When Alice, a young reporter, receives a threatening phone call little does she know that what she first assumes is a prank call will result in her worst nightmare about to begin. Wednesdays are her stalkers day of choice and when Alice thinks back the prank call is not the first contact with her.

There is a whole host of potential suspects that are all blended into the story very nicely so much so that all the way through I was kept guessing who the real villain was.  I earmarked every male and sometimes some of the females as the potential stalker until the end reveal which I didn't see coming at all.

Even hiring a private investigator does not protect Alice in full.  The stalker is so determined to get his revenge that he will stop at nothing to get his message across.

I loved the depth of the bonds in the characters in this book and the scenes between Alice and her mother were very touching.

The flashback chapters gave us an insight into the hard childhood that the villain had to endure and a glimpse into why Wednesdays were is day of choice.

I have nothing but good things to say about book this and cannot wait to read more from this author.  I could say a lot more about this but would be difficult to do so without giving the ending away.